Tyrant vs Tools God's Plan for Kindergarten

The end of my daughter's pre-school homeschooling has ended and her leap into Kindergarten learning has arrived. I am brain-dead most days, my house has slowly become what I would consider a wreck. I can barely plan supper meals anymore, much less remember what I have shopped for that I can make. Some days I am feeling guilty about the lack of time I have spent with my husband. And in general was feeling like I was spending to much time homeschooling and working as a daycare provider that everything else was falling my the wayside. For weeks I walked around in a funk and a gray cloud not being able to figure out what was going on. Then I came across an article in a book called: 'Things I Wish We'd Have Known" about Tool or Tyrant.

What I realized was I was out of balance, my life was not balanced. And for those who know me I am one of those were things need to be just right/balanced or I have a hard time functioning.

I was overwhelming myself with making sure that the stack of library books were got each week were read and discussed, that we accomplished a good portion of worksheets each day, did crafts, and projects, and cooking. I was trying to keep on a schedule, to keep up with what in my mind was learning but really it was just forcing to have done what was written on paper to make it look like I was accomplishing things and that my daughter was given all the learning opportunities she could. I was focusing on quantity versus quality. I was feeling like our cirriculum books were written for a reason and that the chapters in them would not have been written if they were not meant to be used and taught. Overlooking the fact that my daughter was well beyond these pre-school lessons and was growing bored with them. I was stressing on repetition because that was what I need to learn and to memorize, but I did not take the time to look and realize that my daughter did not function like me, she is more her father and picked up and memorized/understood things very quickly.
I was starting to feel like if I can not handle preschool how could I ever continue homeschooling. But as this article pointed out I was ensnared by the Curriculum Tyrant.
The Curriculum Tyrant sneaks up on me in the form of good books, whispering that these hold the answers to all of my daughters educational needs. The Curriculum Tyrant was telling me not to waste these good books, not to waste the money we spent on them. I was placing these books and authors as experts on topics or knowledge to teach my children.
However this article brought me back to realize that God owns my children and he has allowed me to be a steward to him to raise these children. And that no one on Earth knows my children better than I do and no one will ever know them better than I do, so I can not keep trusting in these good books to serve as experts to teach my children. I must rely on God to work through me and give me the tools necessary to teach my children.

After praying for His wisdom, I was able to pay attention to the needs and areas my daughter needs to work on, I was able to see her abilities and learning methods unfold before me. He made it very clear to me.

I am making the effort to choose the Cirriculum Tools God brings me over being scared by the Tyrant. This switch in thinking has given me some Freedom in life, and has released a lot of pressure. I would say that we are learning more towards unschooling in our approaches now with Kindergarten. We will continue to read a lot of good books, but will keep our eyes open to the opportunities God puts in front of us to use as tools to teach our children. Since we have started creating our own worksheet pages based on what Olivia does not know yet and what we value as important my attitude as well as hers towards school has shifted greatly and life is easier. As for the balancing of work, school, wife, mother, and house that is still taking me time to figure out. Not sure I ever will, some days are good and others I have to just throw my hands up and say enough.

The article does state that the Tyrant is never truly defeated, he is sneaky and will try to return. Once the chaos and anxiety return I will know to go to God with it.

The Tyrant in this scenario is the Devil for those who have not picked up on that. The Devil wants to lead us away from God's will.